I don't get it.

That's not a question .

Can you explain this to me?

You want to send someone a postcard from NYC.  You have more money than time or sense, so you hire us to write and send a postcard on your behalf.

Why would I do this?

When was the last time you wrote a handwritten letter to someone?  Sending a handwritten letter is a beautiful, and some say, lost art.  The only problem is that it requires thought and effort.  We eliminate all that by doing all of this for you.

What does this cost?  Why?

$25.  Postcards cost money (about a dime), postage cost money (fifteen cents), and -despite labor laws in our favor- we still chose to pay our writers a nominal fee.  The rest of the money goes to our owner who donates to many causes that benefit his bank account.

 

So how do I do this?

Click, 'Send a Postcard', then pick an author, then check-out, provide the name and address of recipient, pay and you're done.  Good job, you've now contributed to the economy of NYC and you're a patriot.  Pat yourself on the back.

No seriously, why would I do this?

Because it's like art, except not particularly creative nor valuable to society in any meaningful way.  We're not here to convince you of anything.  Go ahead and buy a shitty t-shirt instead.  By the way, thanks for introducing some other piece of garbage into the environment and destroying the earth, asshole..

Do I get to tell you what to write?

No.  If you want to write a postcard so goddamn bad, then write one yourself, you lazy shit.  If you want us to do it for you then we'll write what we want.  Sometimes it'll be smart, clever or funny, but mostly it'll be quick, stupid and a complete waste of your money.

Why are you getting so mad?

I'm not mad.  I'm unilaterally escalating my tone and rhetoric based on your inability to understand this process.

How long does this take?

It takes what it takes: a day, a week, whatever.  Look, you get it when you get it;  chill the fuck out.

Are there any refunds or guarantees?

Does this look like Walmart?  There are no refunds or guarantees in real life, so deal with it.  By the way, we also don't employ slave children or exploit the workers of the world, you fucking racist.

My friend (or family) got the postcard and it sucked.  I want my money back.

Picasso had this saying for when people didn't like his commissioned art: "Fuck off".  Except he usually said it in Spanish.

I still have questions...

Jesus.  We're guessing that in your group of friends, your nickname is 'Einstein'.  If you really have more questions hit 'Contact' in the main menu and ask away.  Maybe we answer, maybe we don't.